So I’m running around the mall when my cell phone starts ringing. It’s Otis. I flip it open and realize I’ve just made a terrible mistake. A zombie’s here, and I’m in a hall, with one door. I jog to the door and barely catch a garbled “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?” from Otis before I face plant. One cannot talk on a cell phone and open doors at the same time.
The zombie takes note of my arm. He drools as he positions himself to gnaw on it. I’m committed to this call. I can’t even raise my other arm defend myself. I cower. The zombie bites. Because of some medical condition I can only release my precious phone once bitten by a zombie.
I say goodnight to the zombie with a 2×4 and throw my phone in the trash bin on the way out.
(I wish. I’ve had it with these motha-annoying phone calls on this motha-zombtastic video game.)