The foot scooter

I have pretty bizarre dreams. Recently they’ve been non-stop and feature a new dream invention… “foot scootering.” I slide along the ground at highway-speeds on one foot.

Here’s one I had this morning that involves foot scootering. Enjoy…

(Fade In)

I’m in the “Bookmobile” (a real library bus in North Idaho.) I want to rent a movie about trees, but all I can remember is it starts with “T”, so when the librarian asks if she can help I accept. She tries to convince me I needed to rent a movie “for myself” and I appease her because it seems she’s hitting on me. All I want to do is find the “T” movie. We look through the entire shelf and I look again while she’s talking, but we can’t find it. Then I realize it’s a kids’ movie so it’s not on the shelf we’re looking at.

I remember a National Geographic dinosaur book I had when I was younger. I’m remembering it being very small, with text that’s unreadably tiny.

(Teleport)

I’m in my parents house looking at two white cats running around on the floor. My mom tells me to “tell him about them.” I can’t see/identify the person she wants me to “tell.” I assume she means dinosaurs, but all I can think of to say is “jawbone.” Then I realize she wants me to tell him about the cats…

(Teleport)

There’s a horse barn. The horses are acting like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park… biting at people through the gaps in the barn sides.

A farmhand dressed in green & purple places a cup of jello right in front of the horses, and the horses snarl. He places a trail of cups (alernating green & purple) leading away from the barn, then back to the barn, up onto a fence, and then up onto the top of the barn. I think, “that’s dumb, the horse-dinosaurs are going to break out and follow the jello cups to him.”

The farmhand stands on top of the barn and starts break dancing. I notice that his socks are changing from green, to purple, and back as he does flips. His moves rewind and reply in slow motion so I can be sure his socks really are changing.

I realize in-dream this is a commercial for socks.

(Teleport)

I’m standing at the University/Capitol light heading north, pushing a shopping cart. So are 3 other people. We’re each in a lane, and I’m in the right lane. I know I need to get to the left so I can turn left on River to get to ProClarity. So, it’s a race.

I have in-dream deja vu about shopping cart races.

The light turns green, and by the time we get to the bridge I’m in the left lane.

(Teleport)

I’m foot scootering down a highway in the central Washington. I’m getting thirsty so I stop at a convenience store. Because I’m going inside I take off my scootering shoe (which is a sandal) and latch it onto my cargo shorts.

I remember there’s a flyer inside that lists different sodas made by Wil Wheaton. Unfortunately the flyer’s gone so I assume he gave up on the soda business.

I see several people carrying water with floating fruit, which I assume are “smoothies”… I decide that I want something watery like that since I’m going to have to carry it while I’m “driving.”

There’s a smoothy counter in the corner. I read through the menu. I don’t see anything listed that the people are drinking. I see something made from ground-up Butterfingers, and then “Peach Pie”, which in the picture appears to be peach pie thrown into a clear plastic cup.

I tell the guy behind the counter I want “Peach Pie” and then, as if it makes some difference, I look over the counter to make sure he’s getting a cup and not a pie in a plate.

While the drink is mixing (I wonder if it is, though, because I don’t hear the blender) the guy goes over to check the door of the store, and a grumpy lady complains he is trying to lock everyone in.

He says “I can’t be over at the door all the time so I’m checking it now while I’m over here,” or something cryptic.

(Fade Out)

Put your back into it, human

My first reaction to the Taco Bell / KFC ordering kiosk was “finally, industry will have more people to do fulfilling, healthy jobs like digging holes or painting houses.” Seriously, I wish more people could have constructive jobs instead of food service. The summers I did landscaping were some of my best, even when it was raining, muddy, cold.

Then I remembered there are still food service people working in the back room, now slaves to the Taco/Chicken Servebot. And machines are pretty good at digging holes, and they can probably paint houses. And they don’t need to eat that garbage. The rise of the machines is upon us.

Adventures in toilet cracking

COUNCIL BLUFFS, Iowa (AP) — Apparently this customer wasn’t hot about his tacos.

Police were looking for a man who they say vandalized a bathroom at a Mexican restaurant after accusing employees of putting hot sauce on his tacos.

Police say two people in a red 1994 GMC Jimmy drove through the drive-thru at Taco John’s about 8 p.m. Friday. After they received their food, they pulled over in the parking lot and one of the men walked into the restaurant and began yelling at employees for putting hot sauce on his tacos, police said.

An employee told the man that the restaurant doesn’t put hot sauce on any of its tacos, and the man walked into the men’s bathroom and cracked the tank on the toilet, police said.

Once I was at college media convention and an amorous couple in our group cracked a hotel toilet. They got plenty of attention in the lobby trying to explain that one. The maid didn’t leave them any soap I guess.